One of the first things they ask you in the ER is to rate your pain on a scale from 1 to 10. I’ve been asked this question hundreds of times and I remember once, when I couldn’t catch my breath and I felt like my chest was on fire, the nurse asked me to rate the pain. Though I couldn’t speak, I held up 9 fingers. Later, when I started feeling better, the nurse came in and she called me a fighter. “You know how I know?” she said, “You called a 10 a 9.” But that wasn’t the truth.

I didn’t call it a 9 because I was brave. The reason I called it a 9 was because I was saving my 10…and this was it. 

(Source: linseymorris)

fangdecay:

captainamericaisavirgin:

benmclemore:

somebody DO SOMETHING

i’ve added this before but this is the most important story that i have
this was published in the vancouver sun like 2 years ago, and i remember reading the paper after class while my sister was watching tv or something, and i burst out laughing when i read the headline. and so im tell her to look, and show her the article and she says “what’s a rim job” and my dad looked up at me and we held eye contact for like. a whole minute and we just had a terrible moment where he knew that i knew what a rim job was, and i knew that he knew what a rim job was and now that’s a reality that we have to face together

that commentary was beautiful

fangdecay:

captainamericaisavirgin:

benmclemore:

somebody DO SOMETHING

i’ve added this before but this is the most important story that i have

this was published in the vancouver sun like 2 years ago, and i remember reading the paper after class while my sister was watching tv or something, and i burst out laughing when i read the headline. and so im tell her to look, and show her the article and she says “what’s a rim job” and my dad looked up at me and we held eye contact for like. a whole minute and we just had a terrible moment where he knew that i knew what a rim job was, and i knew that he knew what a rim job was and now that’s a reality that we have to face together

that commentary was beautiful

(Source: seanorr)

paint-fanduhms:

paint-fanduhms:

An apple a day keeps The Doctor away. 

Why doesn’t this have more notes this is comedy gold.

(Source: fanduhmbs)

shebachan:

farrox:

farrox:

Spooky fact: there is at least one living skeleton in your house right now and it is VERY close. GET OUT OF THERE

image

I SAID RUN NOT HAVE SEX WITH IT

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i did NOT have sexual relations with that skeleton

caloriq:

12 year olds are having sex and i can’t even order in mcdonalds without panicking

Played 1,208,343 times

jmoriartycriminalconsultant:

sometimeseveryonelives:

soggymuffins:

nosatan:

acetucker:

hulkgoesrawr:

PRESS PLAY AND WATCH THE GIF

image

I WAS EXPECTING SOME REALLY CREEPY MUSIC AND THEN THIS HAPPENED. I cant breathe. I can’t stop laughing.

I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed that loudly before. I was NOT expecting that!

LMFAO IM LAUGHING SO HARD I CANHT

can i just say that i really fucking love tumblr

Seriously the best thing ever! Thank you for making my day tumblr! =)

I FUCKING KNEW WHAT WAS COMING

(Source: petewentz-)

curvedbullets:

musiqchild007:

dangervvank:

"what music are you into?"
"i like this! it’s very grown up…"

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

FUCKING LOGGING OUT